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Freeing Up Your Mind

Monday, August 23rd, 2010

My career is by far the most important focus in my life right now. I don’t have any major commitments in areas outside of work; no relationship, no kids. I live on my own, I do my own shit. Life is pretty black and white for me at this present time, just the way I like it.

Up until recently I had a major cloud hanging over my head. Not in a literal sense, although living in Scotland that may well be the case, but I suffered from severe panic attacks that affected my life on quite a serious level. Yeah, yeah, I know you’ve heard me talk about that before, but stay with me.

Every day I’d awake with this ‘issue’ at the back of my head; knowing that to fully rid myself of The Fear I’d have to confront what would cause me the most distress — flying. Yep, getting on a plane was possibly the scariest thing I could ever do.

I knew that in achieving this, however, it would not only mark the end of a very difficult journey, but it would subsequently remove a hefty weight from my shoulders. I wasn’t quite prepared for how greatly it would affect me. When I faced this final hurdle, I not only felt a sense of liberation I know I’ll never experience again, but most importantly it freed up all this energy I had been subconsciously storing away for anxiety.

Let me do a better job of explaining this. In worrying about my anxiety every day, I was unawarely investing a lot of mental energy into it. When I removed the issue that was using up so much energy, I suddenly had an abundance of excess energy I could channel elsewhere.

As you can guess from my opening paragraph, I chose to invest said energy mainly into work.

Since returning from my weekend in England, the weekend that got me on the plane, I have been an absolute workhorse; all I want to do is get shit done. It feels fantastic. I’ve also been using this newfound energy to work on my body and get fit, so I really feel like I’m striking the perfect work / life balance, something I’ve never experienced before. Again, it feels fantastic. The only downside, which is pretty laughable, is that I’m finding it hard to spend evenings being unproductive. I’ve found my love for video games has dwindled as I have so much energy, sitting on the sofa for hours at a time just isn’t cutting it.

As you can see, the solution — despite how hard it was for me to do — was essentially very simple. I just had to face my fear. Whatever issue that’s eating up your energy — whether it be a draining relationship or a taxing and unfulfilling job — remove the problem and make way for a clearer, unpolluted mental attitude. You need to remove the problem and consequently free up your mind to achieve whatever it is you desire. It’s hard, but I’m going to assume you’re bright enough to know that the hardest things in life are always the things worth doing.

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Posted in Personal, Work | 4 Comments »

Getting Fit (Week 1: It’s Addictive)

Monday, August 2nd, 2010

This is part of my getting fit series, so if you haven’t read the introductory post I advise you do so now.

One week has passed since I hired a personal trainer, yet it somehow feels like the longest 7 days of my life. Would it sound absurd to say I am already addicted to the idea of getting fit? No, not the idea as that implies I’m doing nothing about it, but the whole act of starting my day with the knowledge I’ll be including (at least) an hour of exercise is such a great, therefore addictive, feeling.

My week’s fitness regime:

It’s obviously too soon to notice much change from a physical perspective, but mentally I can already feel a big difference. My attitude is a lot more positive because I’m actively changing something important in my life. I feel more confident and my perception towards food is beginning to alter. Suddenly I’ve mustered up some willpower to avoid bad foods — possibly because I’m thinking “Is this really worth the extra work I’ll have to put in tomorrow?”. I guess I’m essentially weighing food and exercise up. My sleeping pattern has been hugely affected. While I’m going to bed later and finding it difficult to switch off, I’m waking up a lot earlier without any fatigue. All in all some very positive changes thus far.

I admit there have been a few days where it’s been a challenge slotting in the time for fitness, but if you really want to make something happen, you will. Take right now, for example, it’s 6.30 AM and I have a busy day of work ahead as well as an evening eaten up by band practice. So I’m going to take my 60 minutes of exercise now and power on with my day.

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Posted in Exercise | 1 Comment »

Getting Fit

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010

I’ve never been a particularly active person. There isn’t a sport I play on a regular basis, and my office job — which has no commute — means I technically don’t have to leave the house at all.

As I’m getting older I’ve began to become more aware of the effects particular foods are having on my weight and mood (coupled with lack of exercise, of course). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a couch potato by any means; I drum with my band, walk my dog, and for a while I was swimming a couple of times a week. But the level at which I was being active wasn’t enough to combat the long shifts spent at my home office and my love for food.

Heart disease also runs in my family. My dad lost his life to heart disease at the age of 58, so the implications of not taking care of myself are there, gnawing at the back of my head in a very dramatic fashion. The problem is, though, that as someone who has never been particularly active, I’ve had trouble sticking to an exercise regime and sustaining a healthy routine. It isn’t long before I convince myself not to go out a run or to give into that pizza. As ashamed as I am to admit it, my willpower has sucked.

I believe, though, that if you really want something enough you will ensure you take the steps to make it happen. And I really want to get fit. This whole process is probably more about training my mind rather than my body, which is why I’ve decided to hire a personal trainer.

Everyone has had differing opinions on my reasoning behind this, especially as personal trainers are a luxurious expense — they’re not exactly cheap. “You could have had a gym membership for a fraction of the cost” or “Why don’t you tag along with my mate and I when we go running?” are a couple of reactions I’ve had, and while it may seem a little L.A. to hire a personal trainer, I’m essentially paying him to kick my arse into gear; to force me out, to set goals and raise expectations, to refrain from letting me give up like I always have. To push me to my absolute limit.

What are my goals? Aside from the obvious that I’ve already stated (outliving my father!), I’d be lying if I said vanity didn’t come into it. Whilst I think I’m at a comfortable weight for my height, because I’ve never exercised regularly I’m not exactly toned. I’m not wanting to go overboard — I think a bit of meat on a woman is definitely sexy — but I will be toning up. I don’t have a target weight and I won’t be obsessively tracking weight loss — this is all about feeling.

I’m excited about this for a couple of reasons, namely because I feel that I’ve already exceeded in accomplishing my personal goals this year, and if I pull this one off then I’ll pretty much be an unstoppable force! In typical ‘Ashley shares everything via photos‘ fashion, I’m going to be documenting the changes in my body via good old Photo Booth. I’ll probably share the photos in 3 weeks time, which is when small changes might start to become noticeable.

Needless to say, this first week of training has kicked my ass. There hasn’t been a day I’ve woken up without feeling intense pain in my muscles (despite doing my stretches after training and soaking in a hot bath). I’ll also be keeping a food diary for the first 2 weeks, so that will be interesting to look at a couple of weeks down the line. Wish me luck!

Have you ever dramatically changed your lifestyle?

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Posted in Exercise, Personal | 4 Comments »